More Life with (L)users...
The Firm Believer in Trade Magazines
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May be difficult to tell apart from the Common Idiot, but the
differences will be apparent if it ever ends up in a discussion
about
what sort of equipment to purchase.
Typical dialogue:
S: "...so you see that the
Frotzpock is the natural choice for us."
U: "I read a very bad review
of the Frotzpock in a trade
magazine.
The reviewers had great problems opening the box
it came
in."
S: "Well, that won't be a
problem for us. I *do* know how to
open cardboard
boxes."
U: "They much preferred the
Dungheap 89. That one didn't need
any stupid
box, it just oozed in under the door."
S: "Er, the Dungheap doesn't
even do what we need the new
machine
for."
U: "...and DungUser Magazine
said that the new version's father
only smelled
*slightly* of elderberries!"
Frequency of appearance:
Much too often.
Suggested treatment:
Kill.
The Incessant Talker
--------------------
Appears at the sysadmin's door, starts describing some sort of
problem
and just never stops.
Typical dialogue:
U: "Hello I hope I'm not interrupting
you I have this problem
you see
I can't print pictures from Netscape anymore even
though
I could do that yesterday and the day before and even
the day
before that but not last Wednesday for some reason I
think it
may have had something to do with the blackout that
day don't
you printers don't usually work very well without
electricity
do they neither do computers for that matter I
couldn't
log in at all until the power came back I must have
tried at
least a million times I think well maybe not quite
that many
but ten thousand at least my keyboard was all worn
down so
I couldn't see what it said on the keys any more so
the day
after I went down to Office Supplies to get a new
one and
they said I couldn't just get one I had to fill in a
form first
have you heard anything that stupid don't they
realise
that I'm very important to the company and do a lot
of valuable
work here without me nothing would get done I
tell you
and of course I told them in no uncertain terms but
they just
wouldn't listen to me and kept insisting that I
needed
that stupid form so in the end I went to get a form
but discovered
that in order to get the form you had to send
a mail
to someone and I couldn't send mail since my keyboard
didn't
work can you believe that eventually after two days I
managed
to type out the mail using only my nose you can't
believe
how hard that was it took almost a whole day and
after I
sent the mail I was told that I didn't really have
to send
it anyway since our departement has a stack of those
forms lying
in the tray between the printer and the copying
machine
so I went over to Bob and asked him hey Bob do you
know where
we keep the printer and the copying machine and
he told
me that he thought they were being repaired at the
moment
so I couldn't use them anyway but I told him that I
weren't
going to use them I just wanted to know where they
were so
that I could go here and get..."
Frequency of appearance:
Much too common.
Suggested treatment:
Let it be. It's fairly easy to
ignore, and as long as it's there
no other users can get in.
More life with lusers...>>
