More Life with (L)users...
The Rabid Guesser
-----------------
Barges into the sysadmin's room and starts spouting nonsense,
usually
in a quite aggressive fashion. Has picked up a technical term
or two
somehow, and blames everything on those terms.
Typical dialogue:
U: "You have to do something
about the collisions on the SCSI
channel!"
S: "What?"
U: "It can't go on like this,
you must fix it, now!"
S: "What was the problem again?"
U: "The SCSI doesn't work,
that's what. And it's slow."
S: "How can it be slow if
it doesn't work?"
U: "I don't know, you're the
expert, not I."
S: "What's the problem?"
U: "It's slow. Didn't you
listen when I told you?"
S: "*What* is slow?"
...and so on until the sysadmin
grows tired, follows the user to
its workplace and discovers that
it has pulled the network cable
out of the workstation. Why it
started talking about SCSI is
never revealed.
Frequency of appearance:
Much too often.
Suggested treatment:
Kill.
The Economist
-------------
This is a *really* nasty one.
Typical dialogue:
U: "So, what are the options
for the new server?"
S: "Well, first we have the
Dungheap MT. It's larger than our
computer
room, needs the Niagara Falls to power it, it's
ugly, it
laughs evilly if you get too close to its console,
it reeks
of brimstone, Greenpeace and Exxon have made a
joint statement
cursing the moment it was created, it's
illegal
to import to most of the civilised world, it has a
habit of
sending nasty email to CEOs, its mother was a
hamster
and its father smelled of elderberries. And it
doesn't
do what we need anyway. Secondly, we have the
Frotzpock
3000. It's small, elegant, doubles as a coatrack,
draws its
power from the Earth's magnetic field, it sings
cute little
songs, spreads happiness wherever it goes,
cleans
the floor, washes the dishes, rubs your back, reminds
you of
your wife's birthday, does everything we need
perfectly
and without error and it only costs $5 more than
the Dungheap."
U: "Ah, the choice is clear,
then. We go with the Dungheap MT."
S: "WHAT?!"
U: "Well, you *did* say it
is cheaper, didn't you?"
Frequency of appearance:
A handful per company, usually.
Suggested treatment:
Take off and nuke the site from
orbit (it's the only way to be sure).
More life with lusers...>>
