Hacker Humor: Evolution of a Linux User
STAGE 6. LINUX CONVERT
You still keep a copy of Windows around, but you find yourself
booting into Linux more and more. The meager amount of diskspace
you set aside for your first Linux install dwindles; you decide
to buy a second hard drive exclusively for Linux.
You re-install everything, including the kitchen sink (Emacs).
Once you finally get PPP working (it was a nasty challenge, but
you're so enamored with Linux that you hardly notice), you go
on a Freshmeat Binge: downloading and installing every piece
of Free Software you come across.
STAGE 7. LINUX ZEALOT
Your enthusiasm for Linux is unbounded. You do anything and
everything to advocate Linux and spite your old master, Microsoft.
Usenet, Slashdot, and LinuxToday are your hangouts. You have
a strong opinion about the GNU GPL and you're not afraid to share
it.
Linux World Domination is your new life's ambition; you put
career,
wealth, and dating on the back burner. You participate in flamefests
against those braindead Windows lusers (stuck in Stage 3) that
inhabit Usenet and ZDNet. You purchase all kinds of tacky made-in-Taiwan
Linux merchandise (T-shirt, mouse pads, stuffed penguins, etc.)
to show your support.
You rearrange books in a bookstore so that the Linux tomes
are displayed more prominently. You get in trouble with your
boss because you spend all your time surfing Slashdot at work.
You petition your local government to migrate their computer
systems to free software. You move to another residence just
so you can say you live on Apache Street.
Instead of a novel, you read the Linux kernel source for pleasure.
You establish your own regional Linux User Group in the hope
that you can invite a guest speaker in the future and get their
autograph. You learn Perl with the goal of automating common
tasks, but you spend more time tinkering with "just one
more perl script" than actually getting stuff done.
STAGE 8. BACK TO REALITY
Your zealotry subsides as you are forced to re-enter the Real
World. Your boss demands that you submit documents in the latest
Word format, nothing else will do. Some of your favorite websites
become harder to use because they keep incorporating features
enhanced for Windows and IE. The new peripherals you bought from
BigEvilProprietaryCo don't work with Linux and probably never
will.
Your ISP is acquired by another company, a very Microsoft-friendly
company, to be exact. They "upgrade" the system; however,
the only change you can notice is that Linux and PPP no longer
work without extensive hacking. Then, citing "customer-driven
demand", your ISP makes more "enhancements", and
Linux no longer works at all. Calling their tech support is an
exercise in futility, they simply say, "Linux? What is that?
Whatever it is we don't support it, and never will. Go use Windows
like everybody else."
Reality sets in: you are forced to use Windows more and more.
Your blood pressure rises, you have more headaches, you waste
hours and hours due to Windows "issues", but you have
no choice.
STAGE 9. ENLIGHTENED LINUX USER
Then you have an inspiration: you do have a choice, you can
hack your own drivers for your hardware, you can find another
ISP, you can get another job. Everything comes into focus, you
have become a Linux Guru.
You kludge together drivers for your "Windows-compatible"
hardware. You finally (after much searching) locate a local ISP
that's actually run by competent geeks, not MCSEs and PHBs. You
find a new, better job at a Linux-friendly company.
In your spare time, you work on various Open Source projects.
You build up a reputation and receive "The Letter"
to participate in the IPO of a Linux business. You join the bandwagon
and create your own Linux portal website.
You're at the pinnacle of evolution for a Linux user. With
much joy, you become 100% Microsoft free. You ditch your Windows
partition and burn all of the Windows disks and manuals that
you own.
STAGE 10. GET A LIFE
You become bored with Linux, and computers in general. You're
still a hardcore geek, of course, but you wonder if there isn't
something better you could be doing. You've been told to "get
a life" countless times during your existence on Earth,
but now you wonder if maybe you should have heeded that advice.
Unexpectedly, a media conglomerate (i.e. Andover, Ziff-Davis,
Internet.com, etc.) offers to buy your Linux portal website and
domain name for an obscene price that contains a significant
number of digits. Without hesistation you accept; this windfall,
combined with your earnings from Linux stocks, is enough to retire
on.
And that's exactly what you do. You move off to a small tropical
island, and get a life.
---
James S. Baughn
http://i-want-a-website.com/about-linux/
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Humorix: Linux and Open Source(nontm) on a lighter note
Archive: http://humbolt.nl.linux.org/lists/
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