The Kosher Computer

If you or a friend are considering a kosher computer, you should know that there were some important upgrades and changes from the typical computer you are used to, such as:

--The cursor moves from right to left.
--It comes with two hard drives, one for fleyshedik business software and one for milchedik games.
--Instead of getting a "General Protection Fault" error, my PC now gets "Ferklempt."
--The Chanukah screen savers include "Flying Dreidels".
--The PC also shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings.
--After my computer dies, I have to dispose of it within 24 hours.
--The "Start" button has been replaced with a "Let's go! I'm not getting any younger!" button.
--When disconnecting external devices from the back of my PC, I am instructed to "Remove the cable from the PC's tuchus".
--The multimedia player has been renamed to "Nu, so play my music already!"
--Internet Explorer has a spinning "Star of David" in the upper right
corner.
--I hear "Hava Nagila" during startup.
--Microsoft Office now includes "A little byte of this, and a little byte of that."
--When running "scandisk" , It prompts with a "You want I should fix this?" message.
--When my PC is working too hard, I occasionally hear a loud "Oy Gevalt!"
--There is a "monitor cleaning solution" from Manischewitz that advertises that it gets rid of the "schmutz und drek" on your monitor.
--After 20 minutes of no activity, my PC goes "Schloffen."
--Computer viruses can now be cured with some matzo ball chicken soup.
--The Y2K problem has been replaced by "Year 5760-5761" issues.
--If you decide not to shut down the computer in the prescribed manner, the following message appears "You should be ashamed of yourself"
--When Spellcheck finds and error it prompts "Is this the best you can do?

---