More helpdesk humor...
Tuesday
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8:30 am
Finish reading support log from last night. Sounded busy.
Terrible time with Save/Replication conflicts.
9:00 am
Support manager arrives. Wants to discuss my attitude. Click
on PhoneNotes SmartIcon. "Love to, but kinda busy.
Put something in the calendar database!" I yell as
I grab for the support lines, which have (mysteriously) lit up. Walks
away grumbling.
9:35 pm
Team leader from R&D needs ID for new employee. Tell
them they need form J-19R=3D9C9\\DARR\K1. Say they never
heard of such a form. Tell them it's in the SPECIAL FORMS
database. Say they never heard of such a database. Transfer them
to janitorial closet in basement.
10:00 am
Perky sounding intern from R&D calls and says she needs new
ID. Tell her I need employee number, department name, manager
name, and marital status. Run @DbLookup against
state parole board database, Centers for Disease Control database,
and my Oprah Winfrey database. No hits. Tell her ID will be ready
tonight. Drawing from the lessons learned in last week's "Reengineering
for Customer Partnership," I offer to personally deliver
ID to her apartment.
10:07 am
Janitor stops by to say he keeps getting strange calls in basement.
Offer to train him on Notes. Begin now. Let him watch console
while I grab a smoke.
1:00 pm
Return from smoking break. Janitor says phones kept ringing,
so he transferred them to cafeteria lady. I like this guy.
1:05 pm
Big commotion! Support manager falls in hole left where
I pulled floor tiles outside his office door. Stress to
him importance of not running in computer room, even if I do
yell "Omigod -- Fire!"
1:15 pm
Development Standards Committee calls and complains about umlauts
in form names. Apologizing for the inconvenience, I tell
them I will fix it. Hang up and run global search/replace
using gaks.
1:20 pm
Mary Hairnet from cafeteria calls. Says she keeps getting
calls for "Notice Loads" or "NoLoad Goats,"
she's not sure, couldn't hear over industrial-grade blender. Tell
her it was probably "Lettuce Nodes." Maybe the food
distributor with a new product? She thinks about it and hangs
up.
2:00 pm
Legal secretary calls and says she lost password. Ask her
to check in her purse, floor of car, and on bathroom counter. Tell
her it probably fell out of back of machine. Suggest she
put duct tape over all the airvents she can find on the PC. Grudgingly
offer to create new ID for her while she does that.
2:49 pm
Janitor comes back. Wants more lessons. I take off
rest of day.
More helpdesk humor --->>
